Photo by Brian Moynihan

Sometimes, right in the middle of a project, we suddenly feel stuck. Our excitement and endless energy seem to have dissipated. Our ideas stop flowing and we wonder what to do next. Well, the best thing to do in that situation is take a mentalacation (Webster,  I’ve got a new one for you! Mentalacation will be defined as a mental vacation for the creatively stressed out).

Think back to one of your favorite times in life. Close your eyes and pull up a mental picture of that place. Let yourself sink into the moment. Try to grab hold of the smells, sounds and feelings in that happy place. Stay there as long as you like and then when you open your eyes try to bring that calm, that happy energy to your work.

Right now, I’d like to be in Acadia National Park in Maine standing with my husband at this lake we found while hiking; it felt as though we’d discovered the lake hidden among the trees. The water was like glass; a perfect reflection of the sky. There was silence and beauty and a moose that followed us as we hiked down. It was like life – stumbling along a path with little direction in awe of the beauty, frightened and exhilarated at the sight of this enormous moose and sad when it all came to an end. In that moment by the lake, in the quiet stillness, there was peace.

Where is your happy place?
 

My daughter makes this noise, a primal hum, when she is in that space between waking and sleeping. The sound soothes her and allows her to return to the peace of sleep. It reminds me of the moan Harry (Billy Crystal) made in When Harry Met Sally only more drawn-out and infinitely more hilarious.

Recently, I was feeling jammed up. My head was flooded with thoughts about work, creative projects, taking care of my daughter, familial issues, financial concerns, the need for a vacation, etc. I needed to quiet my mind but found that screaming, “Stop Thinking” in my head over and over was not the solution. Just then, I heard her on the baby monitor. She was curled up, eyes closed, humming herself back into a dream.

That moment was just the inspiration I was seeking; I just hadn’t realized it. I decided to lie upside down on my couch allowing my head to hang off the edge. With closed eyes, I exhaled letting a small sound slip from my lips. It was like a teeny, tiny growl. Gradually it built to a nice, respectable level which was just shy of being loud enough to wake her. My focus began to shift away from my hodgepodge of thoughts to my breath mixed with this growl. As the last bits of sound escaped, I felt an urge to laugh. I’m not even sure what struck me as funny. I felt light, free and utterly relaxed. Every part of me was filled with urges to color, write on the walls and dance around the room. Somehow this little, inner rumble brought me back to my playful self.

In college, I took part in a primal scream during exams but it didn’t make me feel half as good as my ridiculous growl.

What would you prefer a primal scream, growl, hum or something else? What’s one silly way you love to clear out tension and uncover creative fun?
 

A man once told me a story I couldn’t believe.

“When I met my wife, I was young. I had aspirations of being a painter,” he said.  “Then, I saw her work. She wasn’t trying to be a painter; she had other dreams. She simply painted for fun and it was incredible. Her work was so brilliant that I decided to never paint again.” The man is now in his seventies; he hasn’t picked up a paintbrush in over fifty years.

This not only stunned me, it saddened me. I knew his wife. She never compared herself to anyone. She simply let herself enjoy making art and lived a full life creating many different things.

He went on to create other types of art but the world will never know the beauty of his paintings. You may say – well you’ve never seen his work so how do you know if it was any good? I don’t know but putting my own “is it good, is it not good judgments” aside, I am deeply disappointed that world will miss out on all the colors that exist inside him.

We compare everything from cars to clothing, food to vacation destinations, and so much more. We do this for a number of reasons from getting the best bang for our buck to simply getting the best things. I do not think it is our nature to compare; I think it is a nurtured behavior. Our comparison shopping seems to serve as a frame of reference tool. We use it to find a base and compare from there. When it comes to material things, I think it is an effective tool however when it comes to comparing human beings, ourselves, I think it’s detrimental as it limits most people’s dreams and visions.

I have wasted time comparing myself to other people. I’ve compared myself to people physically (wish I had a body like that), mentally (wish I was as smart, as literary, as talented) and emotionally (wow, he/she has such control, I wish I wasn’t so emotional or even, I wish I didn’t laugh so much or so loud). I’m sick and tired of it. So, I am going to try to adjust my perspective and my thought process and focus on appreciating others instead of comparing. My goal is to pour whatever is inside of me into my creative projects –without comparing myself - and see what happens.

Do you compare yourself? What have you stopped yourself from doing because you thought someone you compared yourself to was better than you? What have you done because you thought you were better than someone else? Do you think it’s something we can’t stop ourselves from doing?

I can’t wait to read your thoughts…..